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| Single Mother Dating |
At this moment it is 9am and I am sitting at my desk attempting to get my thoughts out. Hopefully this will allow me to be more effective throughout the rest of the workday since my mind does tend to wander. . . but we'll see. The main thing that is at the forefront of my mind at the moment is the telephone conversation that I had with Rell yesterday. Yes, that's right, he eventually did call me yesterday to wish me a happy Mother's Day. The conversation we had lasted for about an hour (give or take a few minutes. . . most likely take) and it was just really enjoyable. We laughed, which is something that I love to do! We basically bull shitted with each other and talked about the crazy people we work for. He is always able to make me laugh, even when he is pissing me off. We talked about the boys and their crazy antics. . . we just talked. It was really nice. Later that evening he sent me a text telling me that "chatting with you was nice". I responded by saying that it was nice and we should do it more often. He agreed. This is a pleasant developement. I really do enjoy talking with Rell and the possiblity of us doing so more often is something I really do welcome and look forward to. However, I am not going to let myself get to overly excited about the possibility of us getting back together because the last time I did that I had my hopes and dreams dashed . . . by him. I know better now.
Plus, since I have been alone all this time I have had time to really think about my mistakes in past relationships and consider the things that I want out of a relationship and what I just will not put up with. I am not sure if Rell, is what I want. I do love him, and it would be much easier on the boys for me to pursue a relationship with someone that they already know and love. But my lifestyle has changed. And the man that I end up with will have to fit into my lifestyle. For example, I no longer smoke. . . anything! No weed, no cigarettes, no black and milds, none of it. Rell still smokes like a chimny. Also, I am really into health and exercise and Rell has let him self go a bit. Sex is really really important to me. It is also important for me to be uncontrollably attracted to the man that I am with. Don't get me wrong, he ain't gotta look like freakin' Adonis or nothin' but he has gotta keep things together. I work hard to keep myself together after 3 kids and I would like to be with someone who will attempt to stay fine as well. Call me superficial if you like, it's just real talk. Now, I do still think Rell is sexy but . . . he gotta sharpen those round edges just a bit. And that's just the tip of the iceberg with us. We have other issues that need to be addressed. The major one is the ability to keep other people out of our relationship. This is easy for me but Rell has a very strong family relationship (which I actually do admire and sometimes envy) but at the same damn time everybody and they momma feels like they have the right to add they 2 cents to our relationship. I don't need him taking relationship advice from his homeboy that he went to elementary school with in Italy or some shit like that. Naw nigga, that ain't gonna fly.
But I digress, the conversation was nice, lets move on! I stopped by to see J real quick this morning on my way to work. His job is literally on my way to work so it don't take nothin' to stop by real quick. I love seeing him in the morning. It's a great way to start my day. Everything about him turns me da fuck on! Lawd 'ave mercy! His nappy hair, dark chocolate skin, gorgeous smile, juicy lips and then he opens his mouth to speak to me and that Jamaican accent closes the damn deal. Y'all gon get tired of me talkin' about him but I am truly infatuated and inamured with him. Can't help it. We talked, I told him briefly about my issues at the church, which I do not believe I will be returning to, and well he basically believes that they (church folk) can be truly controling and over bearing and do not take kindly to opinionated strong minded people. I kinda agree with that, I am stubborn and opinionated and that can rub people the wrong way, but I do not apologize for it. I cannot just follow after someone if I do not agree with what is going on or thier actions or lack thereof. However, I do not go against the grain just to do it, I just am not afraid to call bull shit or fuckery when I see it. And just because you call yourself a Christian does not mean you are immune to fuckery. It happens to the best of us. . . real talk! But I digress, he told me I was sexy and I smell sweet (now just imagine hearing that in a smoothe Jamaican accent. . . uh huh, now you get what I'm sayin') then I got in my car pulled him towards me for a kiss goodbye and headed to work. Just the pick up I needed before I
start the workday, second only to a good cup of coffee.
Of course before I met up with J I dropped the boys at school and daycare. Before doing so I had my usual "pep talk" with my oldest boy about making sure he pays attention in school and works hard. It was really more of a "if you don't get your act together today I'm gonna woop yo ass" kinda talk. Now don't get me wrong, for the entire school year I have tried every other method to get this kid to take school seriously. We spend hours on homework everynight, I stay in touch with his teacher via email (because I cannot trust him to bring home any notes his teacher may have given him to give to me) and I am always available for a parent teach conference at the drop of a dime. I have put in place reward systems for getting his school work done and studying. I have tried everything and it has not worked. He just fucks off when he gets to school. So with there only being four weeks left in the school year I have decided to go back to the tried and true methods that worked for my mother and my mother's mother. A good ole' fashioned ass whoopin'. All I know is that when I was a kid I would not even dare pull some of the stunts my boy tries to get away with. I was terrified of my mother. If my teacher even hinted at writing my mother a note or giving her a call that was all I needed to straigten up real quick! So that's what we are doing not. And it seems to be working. I just hope it is in enough time to ensure that he will not be retained in his current grade this year. If he does not pass his FCAT he will have to fall back on his actual grades. The thing is, every year we go through this and then he passes his FCAT and all is well with the world again. He is very very smart, which is what causes me so much frustration. If he would just apply himself there would be no problems. Now my younger school age boy just gets it. He has no problems in school, but he is already focused on girls at 6 years old. So. . . I gotta keep my eye on him. Ahh, the joys of mother hood. Well, I gotta start doing my actual job now. That is what I get paid for. I still have not even put my make-up on yet. I have plenty to do today to keep me busy. So the plan is to keep my head down, my earbuds in and zone out until 5:30 pm. When I get home this evening I have to workout, clean, do homework (the kids and my own). You know, the same ole' same ole'. But those activities are hours away. I will talk to you later and keep my mind peeled on any activities that may occur today that may be worth writing about.
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