Fairytales Do Come True!

Ok, so M's back!  Yet this is still so unbelievable to me.  For the last few months thoughts of him have been so strong in my mind.  I've actually missed him.  Longed for him even.  I've been thinking about all the good times we have spent together.  How well, we get along and we just kinda vibe.  We rock well, we mesh.  Even when things were not so good we still rocked.

Then, this past Tuesday he happens to come across my profile on a dating site and sends me a message.  This all seems too damn good to be true.  I can't believe I have him back in my life.  I just cannot wrap my head around it.  And this time he is all mine.  No complicated relationship issues, no "situations", no gray areas.  It's just me and him.  He says he loves me and wants to make me the "center of his life".  He has been telling one of his daughters about me and how happy I make him.  He actually wants me to meet her.  She is suppose to move in with him this summer. 

I just can't believe it.  As I sit here typing this all out it seems like I am writing out my fairytale version of the way I would like things to workout between us.  Not real life activities.  This is really happening.  This is really fucking happening and I don't know what to do.  I really don't.  I love it, don't get me wrong.  And I am excited to see where this takes us, together.  I am curious to see if we could make a real grown up relationship work.  To be quite honest, our past relationship was void of regular everyday issues like finances, child raising, and each other's annoying habits.  However, we did have major issues to overcome and we always seemed to find our way back to each other. 

What I do not is that I am not going to let the fact that I am scared stop me from traveling this road.  I owe it to myself to see where it goes and what it has in store for me.  If I don't I am sure that I will regret it and wonder about what could have happened for the rest of my life.  I mean, this is M, he is the one and always has been.  Every man I have ever been involved with after him was compared to him.  And they never measured up.  Ok, Rell is funnier and makes me laugh.  I will give him that. . . but that's it.  But on every other level M has been that dude.  He is smart and I don't have to dumb myself down around him.  His body has right and he believes in taking care of himself.  We have similar tastes in music.  We speak in our own special language of sarcasm which I can only seem to do effectively with him.  The sex. . . . never had a problem there.  Never, I mean never.  Shit, I can't wait to get it again.  And this time he has a vasectomy so I am going to have a fuckin' ball when we get back to that part of our relationship.   Oooo weeee, I can't wait.  It's gonna be awesome.  Lawd knows we use to get it in.  We have kissed and I tell you it's real good every time.  Luckily it is in his work truck and there is usually a bunch of stuff between us or I might be in some real trouble. 

This is the third day in a row that we have seen each other after not having seen each other for 6 years and I am starting to warm up to the idea of him.  I have basically let anyone else who was pursuing me go.  They don't stand a chance and I really need to put my focus here.  My main concern right now is my boys and how they will react to this new development.  Really, there is nothing they have to be concerned with.  It's not like we are going to be moving in with each other anytime soon.  Also, M has ensured me that we can take it as slow as I like.  This gives me added comfort. 

I have to say that I am excited, I really am.  I will be in a real relationship with a man that really digs me, he adores me, he loves me.  This is great.  I really think that it is headed towards marriage, real talk.  He already told me that he is playing for keeps and wants me to be with him forever.  He even joked about me starting to look for my ring now so that by the time we get there he will be able to afford it.  Yup, he's the one, he is back in my life.  My fairytale is on its way to coming true.  God is so good, so good to me!